Redneck Business:

4:       Evolution vs. Animal Protection:

5:       Gun Control vs. Government Protection:

So many liberals want to get weapons out of the hands of the people and leave us to rely on government (police) protection, yet they complain about police cruelty and the inadequacies of FEMA.

Redneck Gun Control:

6:       Feminism vs. the Sexual Revolution:

7:       Diversity vs. …Everything:

Too many that espouse “diversity” often also espouse policies that actually reduce diversity.  I’m talking about diversity of thought, diversity of opinion, diversity of actions.  The liberal position seems to be that people are too stupid to do anything for themselves, or make their own decisions, so we are going to mandate these things that we think are good for you.  Seatbelts – no dissension allowed.  Smoking – no dissension allowed.  Guns – no dissension allowed. And these are their good points.

Seeing as there is a lot of money to be made in promoting diversity, the Crimson Apex Solidarity Horde is going into full swing.

8:       Money vs. Money:

We have learned from many on the left over the years that, “It’s not about the money.  You can be rich in so many other ways!”  Yet, at the same time, they make constant calls for more money for this, that, and the other, usually to be paid by “The Rich.”

“Money doesn’t buy happiness.”  This is what we’re told by feel good liberals when talking about the accomplishments of some business leader.  If that is the case, then why do they feel the need to expand the welfare rolls?  These people may already be rich in love.  Why do they always demean those who have made it big time for themselves, and for their kids?  Why is it that they want to take their hard earned money, if it’s not important?

Those of the Crimson Cranium cabal love money.  As such, the Crimson Apex Solidarity Horde is proud to announce their latest program: the Scarlet Collection of Assets Mechanism.

9:       Religion vs. The State:

We have heard for many years now about the “Separation of Church and State.”  We have also heard that “You cannot legislate morality!”  Yet many government programs, from Welfare to Social Security, from Nationalized Health Care to Carbon Credits rely on an appeal to our morality and our often are justified on religious grounds. It seems that liberals are fine using religion to get what they want, but reluctant to turn to it to receive what they need.

In some parts of the country you can be blasted as bitter for clinging to religion, but in redneck country it can mark you as someone who doesn’t hunt and isn’t too lazy to get up on Sunday.

10:     The Individual vs. The Collective:

Liberals love to place people in neat little groups, such as Christian Conservatives, Gays, Blacks, Women, and so forth.  This alignment of people provides them with neat little categories to lump people into while they can ignore the individuals that make up the groups.  The Individual is an anathema to those who worship the Collective.

Those of the Crimson Cranium cabal love money. As such, the Crimson Apex Solidarity Horde is proud to announce their latest program: the Scarlet Collection of Assets Mechanism.

The S.C.A.M. program will henceforth be set up to collect funds from our dark- and light-haired oppressors. As of the current embodiment of this program, C.A.S.H. members will not be required to contribute. This is subject to change, however, depending on administrative costs and other factors.

Proceeds from S.C.A.M will initially go towards education efforts to highlight the plight of the Red Headed Human. Such education programs will highlight such tribulations as public harassment due to spotted pigmentation, the effects of the sun on those of the extreme fair skinned, red haired persuasion, and the potential emotional harm that can happen from handling our hair without our go-ahead, or conspicuous constant colloquial requests to confirm the colossal keenness for coupling.

After education efforts get underway, it is hoped that the S.C.A.M. program will also serve to enrich the lives of those Ginger groups who have been especially harmed through discrimination, harassment, and bigotry. Most prominent among these groups are the members of the Crimson Apex Town Hall’ers (CATHeters (Because we’ll take the fight straight to your pee-hole!)) as noted on the sidebar to the right.

It should be noted that the S.C.A.M. program is currently a voluntary program. This is subject to change as well, and will be evaluated periodically based on the number of donations received, the convenience of corporate cash and the quantity of Crimson Cranium corporate cronies at each location, as well as an assessment to ensure a large percentage of the CATHeter members blogs appear on other Town Hall blogrolls.

C.A.S.H. also reserves the right to evaluate the need for Red Head Reparations based on the success of the S.C.A.M. program.

On a side note:

It appears after preliminary analysis that the newly named Vice Presidential nominee for the Republican Party has Red Hair, and therefore gets the endorsement of C.A.S.H. It’s just a shame that we cannot just get a VP without having to take a P!

Ok, so B.O. named Joe Biden for his Vice Presidential running mate this last week. Much has already been written on the various gaffs and misstatements made by Biden, and on what he has said in praise of McCain and to disparage B.O. But I have a different take on the Biden pick. You knew that I would!

He had a chance to pick someone who really stood up for everyone, someone who could point to his background and say that he could “feel your pain,” the great B.O. picks Joe Biden.

Joe Biden is proud of his former slave state of Delaware, saying that they would have joined the Confederacy, if only they could have figured “out how to get to the South.” Joe Biden has referred to B.O. as “the first mainstream African-American who is articulate and bright and clean and a nice-looking guy.” As opposed to the other kind, eh Joe? Perhaps Joe Biden has been hanging around the other Democrat leader proud of his white history, Robert “KKK” Byrd. It’s the Bobby Joe twins! Uncle Joe Biden’s attitude apparently goes for others who are non-white, as well. He was the one who proposed dividing up Iraq into racial groups as a solution to their problems. “Separate but Equal,” Joe?

Perhaps the reason that B.O. is open to this kind of thing is because he feels the same way. It won’t be the first time that some “uppity” black man has been accused of “speaking down to black people.”

He went to Harvard in the late 1980’s, in that bastion of white-itude, Cambridge, Massachusetts. Not a place known at the time for their high black attendance rates. If he had time to see any “real” blacks there, I’m sure he didn’t spend much time associating with them in between studies and editing the paper. In fact, he says that it wasn’t until Chicago that, “I discovered I was black, and I have remained so ever since.”

He apparently went to a church that preached “Liberation Theology” in Chicago, but never seems to have gone to church to hear a sermon. Did he know, at all, what his pastor was saying in the pulpit? Maybe if he did, he would have left much sooner. After all, Reverend Wright’s views do not reflect his.

Meanwhile, even Michelle Obama’s hospital turns away minorities from the surrounding neighborhoods.

Many of Obama’s policies also reflect his hatred toward blacks. He supports “Immigrant Rights,” which affect the working poor and the black communities the most. He opposes school vouchers, which have been shown to benefit blacks stuck in failing inner city schools. He supports abortion and the Margaret Sanger founded Planned Parenthood, which has been shown to disproportionally kill off black babies.

So my question for Mr. Barack Hussein Obama is this:

In some parts of the country you can be blasted as bitter for clinging to religion, but in redneck country it can mark you as someone who isn’t too lazy to get up on Sunday.

In redneck country, we love our Jesus. That is why, when it comes to going to church, we always wear our best Sunday outfits for the occasion.

We believe in honoring the Commandments of God. We are proud to honor the sanctity of marriage, and celebrate accordingly. We appreciate the chance to read our Bibles wherever we may be.

In redneck country, we believe that people should be able to practice their religion any way they choose. If that means staying home on Sundays and catching a race, well so be it. We’ll talk about you while you ain’t here, but we won’t hold it against you in the long run. Just so long as you don’t sit there in the pews while your preacher spouts hatred for this country and them claim you ain’t heard it.